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THE CHURCH, OR MMMM, SACRILICIOUS... - ITALIAN HORROR WEEK

MARCH 10TH, 1989 - The Church  opens in Medieval times where a religious order, the Teutonic Knights who, at the behest of the Church w...

Sunday, October 13, 2013

UTTER MADNESS... A WEEK IN REVIEW.

The Lords of Salem
2012/101 min
4/5 charred witches

Rob Zombie's take on Euro Horror.  A coven of witches look to bring about the birth of the Anti-christ and punish the descendants of the citizens responsible for the Salem witch trials.

2 pts

Salem's Lot (original)
1979/112 min
5/5 yellow eyed child vampires

Directed by Tobe (TCM) Hooper, this made for television mini-series, adapted from the book by Stephen King, is still pretty frightening today.  Author Ben Mears returns to his hometown of Jerusalem's Lot, and upon his arrival, the residents start coming down with a strange disease...vampirism!

2 pts

Jaws
1975/124 min
5/5 mutilated swimmers

Classic Spielberg film about a great white shark that terrorizes the small town of Amity.

2.5 (?)

The Beyond (Grindhouse Edition)
1981/87 min
5/5 open gates to hell

Eliza inherits an old Hotel in Louisiana.  Little does she know that it was built over 1 of the 7 dreaded gateways to hell.  The gateway gets open by Joe the plumber and an over the top bloodbath ensues in the form of eye-gougings, face melting, head shots, devouring by spiders, a dog attack, and a zombie attack.  i've blogged and podcasted about this, so i don't need to explain anymore.

2 pts (?) video nasty bonus?

From Beyond
1986/86 min
5/5 pitiful humans

Adapted from a short story by H.P. Lovecraft, the film focuses on Miskatonic U student, Crawford Tillingast (Brilliantly played by Jeffery Combs) who helps Dr. Pretorius invent the Resonator, a machine that uses vibrations to stimulate the pineal gland.  As an added bonus, the machine also unlocks a dimension of vicious creatures, one of which consumes the mind of Dr. Pretorius, turning him and It into the most powerful being in the universe.

2 pts

Bram Stoker's Dracula
1992/128 min
4/5 Gary Oldman's

Francis Ford Coppola's non-traditional take on the traditional Dracula story.
Although plagued by Keanu Reeves' wooden acting, this film is saved by the special FX and the venerable Gary Oldman as Count Dracula.

2.5pts

The 9th Gate
1999/133 min
5/5 LCF engravings

Satanic Nudity

Johnny Depp plays Dean Corso, a charismatic slimeball "book detective", who is hired by the sinister Boris Balkin, played by Frank Langella in my 2nd favorite role by him (The first as Skeletor in The Masters of the Universe) to research the diabolical book, "The Nine Gates to the Kingdom of Shadows."  Corso travels to Europe ti examine the books only to encounter murder and other strange events at every turn.

2.5 pts

The Omen
1976/ 111 min
5/5 cute anti-christs

On June 6th, at 6 am, Kathy Thorn gave birth to a baby boy, but it died as it was born.  A priest approaches Robert Thorn with a proposal to adopt a newborn baby boy who's mother has just passed. Unable to break the heart of his wife, Robert covers up the fact that their real child was dead and presents baby Damien to his wife.  A few days later, Robert is appointed as American ambassador to England.  Flash forward a few years to Damien's 5th birthday party.  It is then that things take a turn as Damien's Nanny hangs herself in front of the party guests. Soonafter, Robert finds that Damien is not what he seems.

2 pts

The House of the Devil
2009/95 min
5/5 Tom Noonans

In the 1980's, college student Samantha (played brilliantly by Jocelyn Donahue), finds a place to live, but is short on money.  Desperate to get out of her dormitory, she gets a babysitting job.  However, when she arrives at the house on East Beaumont, things are not what they appear.  Mr. Ullman (played by a rocking Tom Noonan) confesses that the bsbysitting job isn't for a child, but his elderly mother in law.  After upping the ante to $400, Samantha decides to take the job.  Little does she know that she basically sold her soul for $400.  There is an eclipse that night, and Samantha is the guest of honor in the House of the Devil.

2pts

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